2006RUS

Look what came in the mail today! Your super-awesome set of funny t-shirts that you’ve ordered from the Internet just showed up and you couldn’t be more excited! There is nothing you can’t do! You are King of your Domain, and you will march forth into the wilderness to conquer all with the hilarity of your funny t-shirts! You decide that the ground of your first comedy conquest will be at the vegetable stand of your local Farmer’s Market, because you are in dire need of fresh veggies for the stew you are making later that evening.

That seemed like a great plan until you actually arrived and left the safety of your vehicle. Once you walked up to the fruit and veggie stand you popped your chest out so that everyone could read your funny t-shirt in order to join you for a laugh. Well, that’s not what is happening. What’s happening is that you are being yelled at by an old farmer lady and being chased back to your car. Something has gone wonderfully wrong. You have offended everyone with one of your funny t-shirts. I wonder what could have happened?

The problem lies with a generational gap the size of the Grand Canyon. You grew up nursing from the Internet like a calf from an udder. You have learned much of what you know from things you saw on the Web. The older generations only know of the Internet as a place to check your bank account. Think of all the terrible, profane things you’ve seen on the Web. Don’t you think that may have blurred the lines of what is offensive and what is not within your own mind? The word “jaded” does not even begin to touch upon how you view funny t-shirts. You don’t even know what “offensive” means any longer.

You may not realize it due to your jaded nature, but your funny t-shirts could very well be offensive. If you are too jaded to figure it out, you need to look carefully at your shirts and run through a mental checklist of offensive material to make certain your shirts are safe to wear out in the real world. You also need to understand that some things that seem hilarious on a computer, may not be so funny to everyone else. Just make sure that your shirt isn’t about anything sexual, offensive words, religious, or political statements. Simple, right?

Where do you stand on this issue? Do you feel that the Freedom of Expression is more important than the grief of one woman who may be angered at your abortion humor? Should you have the chance to say whatever you want, no matter what kind of damage is may do in a social situation. I’ve always felt that the old adage, “First, do no harm.” to be a good thing. Is there even a right answer to the question of what is “too” offensive? I suppose the only way to find out is to wear your funny t-shirts and see what happens.

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Politics have always been a really touchy subject. They say there’s two things you should steer away from in a conversation, and those are religion and politics. If you feel like talking about politics, you should just stick to the weather. Well, I could never really agree with that. In fact, I have gotten into some pretty heated debates with strangers in public, just because of the conservative political t-shirts I like to wear. I was getting really tired of all the arguing, so I decided I needed a vacation.

In order to surround myself with fellow right-wing conservatives, I figured I would throw a big party. I was terrified that the libs would see my invitations and storm us like the beach at Normandy. As a lover of my personal collection, I decided on a whim to include in the invites that it was required to wear conservative political t-shirts if you wanted to attend. If liberals wanted to come, we would spot them right away and if the wanted to come incognito, they would have to actually buy a t-shirt to wear…which isn’t likely.

The day of the party arrived, and I was genuinely nervous about who might show up. I posted these invitations randomly around town and online, so it was entirely possible that a group of random liberals might try to crash it and ruin my night. I wanted to host this party with conservative political t-shirts so that I could meet fellow conservatives in the area and share ideas. The main motivation was to lay a foundation of support, collect email addresses, and organize for rallies and the such.

Luckily, the liberals stayed home that day. Not only did the liberals stay home, but the conservatives showed up in force. I had several people call during the week to confirm their invite, but many more showed up unannounced. My wife made plenty of snacks and we certainly had plenty to drink. The party went off without a hitch. Everyone wore conservative political t-shirts, as requested, that ranged from the hilarious to the plain outrageous.

That party was a giant success. Not only did I network with the area’s most vehement supporters for right-wing issues, but I also made several close friends that I have kept to this very day. We make the conservative political t-shirts party and annual thing now, and we have actually had people fly in from out-of-state to attend. We rent a local VFW these days, hire catering, and get a band to play. Sometimes great things start out as tiny ideas. I like to think that my little party has created an awesome local political force for good.

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